July 2013 - Dirty Girl Mud Run
I started going to the gym daily this week and it's been kind of an all new realization for me about how much I need to change my life to get back to how I used to be. When I say 'used to be' I'm talking about my lifestyle in high school and my size in college. I worked out regularly, could bench press 120lbs (not a ton, but a whole lot more than I could today) and squat over 200lbs. I could run a few miles and enjoyed generally being healthy. Now, I miss that life and have been trying to get back to it. I "ran" my first 5k last summer - let's be honest, I basically went on a 3.5 mile hike and got super muddy, but I was proud to complete all of the obstacles on the course. This year I've decided to do the Dirty Girl Mud Run as well as some other 5k's and possibly my first 10k so I'm working on getting my endurance up to be able to truly run these races.
Going ziplining for the 1st time, January 2013
My confession is to share with all of you that this is not easy (big surprise). I've been doing a low carb diet since October 1st and so far have lost about 25lbs (December was not a part of that). In some ways, I'm used to it and it genuinely doesn't bother me, in others it just sucks. I watch my family eat pasta and bread and pancakes and I basically hate them. I look down at my healthy lchf meal, I have to force myself sometimes to remember why I'm doing this. Why I'm not eating cookies or birthday cake. Why I'm making low carb brownies from scratch instead of scarfing down the Mallowmars I really want. When my alarm goes off at 5:30 in the morning, I don't want to get up. Who wants to get up that early? The sun isn't even up yet! The sun is only just rising as I leave the gym at 7:30! But once I'm in the gym and I'm starting my routine, I'm glad I'm there and taking the steps I have to to become a better version of myself. I set tiny goals for myself inside of my long term goal and look forward to reaching each one (about every 10lbs is a milestone). I tried on a bikini a couple weeks ago and decided that if I lose another 25lbs by summer I'll buy it and embrace wearing a bikini for the first time in 7 years knowing that I'll have made huge progress and that despite still having stretchmarks, and imperfect body, and a 7" scar from having the boys - I'll have lost at least 50lbs in less than a year.
Me this morning, January 2014
So all the cravings, the soreness, the blisters, the general annoyance - it's worth it. It isn't fun and I don't always like what I'm doing (read: frequently) - but eventually I'll come to love it and I know it'll be something I'm grateful for doing.
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