So to begin with this week, I’m going to write a response to a blog that I’ve been reading a lot of the last month or so: A Cup of Jo. She wrote a blog today asking how her readers felt about the gender of their child while they were pregnant – if anyone had a preference on what they wanted to have, how they felt when they did or didn’t end up having a baby of that sex, and whether they thought it was ok or a bad thing to have such a preference or hope. I thought it was a great question so I wanted to respond as a blog and share it with all of you rather than just a comment response. (If she actually comes to read this: Hi Joanna!!!)
As some of you know,
I am one of six girls with a great many cousins who are for the most
part – also girls. My husband, Corey, is one of four boys so that was
like a dream come true for me, because I had wanted to have boys for as
long as I can remember. The strange thing was though that even though I
had wanted a boy my whole life, now that I was actually pregnant, I
found myself absolutely terrified of actually getting what I’d always
wanted. Mind you I was never really anti-girl, I just wanted something
different and didn’t want to deal with any more of the PMS and drama
that I had grown up with being around so many girls (not to mention my
own cup o’ craziness). I had never been a big fan of dress-up; I had
never done too many girly things as a child myself and didn’t really
have any interest in doing them now. – But once faced with having a
child, knowing I’d be raising it far away from any family…I wanted what I
knew. I had helped raise my two youngest sisters and had babysat little
girls countless times. I know what their development is, how to take
care of them, - what to expect. The idea of having a boy went from being
everything I’d ever wanted to the scariest thing in the world – for
God’s sake, they pee standing up!
Eventually
though, after about two months of panic, my mind returned to where it
once had been – back to serenity and resolve. I wanted a boy, and was
even more certain than I was before. I wanted that sweet boy that I
could teach to be a decent man – a boy I could watch play baseball,
soccer, lacrosse, or whatever he set his mind to. I loved the simplicity
of boys. Everything that had been worrying me now exhilarated me. I
adored that while girls can be counted on to be sneaky, boys can be
counted on to do their silly crazy stunts out in the open. I never felt
bad about having a preference, because I knew that should we find out we
were having a girl, I would end up being just as thrilled with a little
baby princess as I was when I found out it was a boy. Corey though,
sheepishly asked me once a couple days before we were to find out,
“Would it make me a bad dad if I said I wanted a boy more than a girl?”
My immediate response was a resounding, “No” – after all, what man
doesn’t want a boy? Fathers all obviously love their girls but it’s just
an obvious idea for Corey to want a son. And plus, why would he be
wrong if I was doing the same thing? :)
I
know that if we had been given a girl everything would have been
lovely, but having Owen has just been so wonderful. It’s exciting to be
doing something new, and to look forward to all the things that will be
different. Also, he’s just too adorable to not find fascinating. His
little whimpers and coos make me constantly excited for the next thing
to come from him, and I am just thrilled about seeing every stage that
will come in the future. He is everything I had always wanted, and it’s
only been three months. I look forward to finding out how similar his is
to Corey – if he’ll be that goofy, silly boy who’s always pulling
pranks and joking around but then five minutes later is being sweet and
loving. I also long to see if he’ll be like both of us in our undying
love of music and books – though, I think so far, the verdict on music
is a resounding yes. The child loves listening to our albums of Elvis,
Dave Matthews, the Beatles, James Carr, and so on – I try to throw in
classical occasionally as well, because we both like it and I know it’s
good for Owen to hear it, but it’s just too fun sometimes trying to
discover new artists that he likes … and I just completely adore being
able to say that my child has loved 60’s Soul since he was born more
than any other music. :)
Long story short – I did have a preference.
I had a mild panic stage of being scared of that idea for a while, but
in the end I got what I wanted – and it’s everything I had hoped it
would be. Now if only I could find as many cute clothes for boys as
there are out there for little girls…
