How Easily Forgotten..

I'm writing this post after observing, once again, how quickly people make the jump to meanness, cruelty, and anger. Since this blog is named after a well-known call for kindness and respect, I think that this needs to be written about. (If you haven't caught on yet, by the way, the Law of Bambi is from Thumper's family motto, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.")

I think it's safe to say at this point that most of us, if not all of us, have seen an instance of discussions or debates in a public forum turning into inappropriate bullying and cruelty. Apparently we as adults have not ever moved past high school social politics. It's everywhere. Blog comments, Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter are all breeding grounds of this kind of behavior. For some reason the anonymity of the internet has allowed us all to turn into the worst versions of ourselves. And worse still, we even do it to people we actually know. Disagreements are no longer simple and respectful - they're cause for drawn out arguments which resolve nothing and simply open the floodgates for horrible comments. I regularly see people telling others to kill themselves (sometimes graphically and specifically) or that they aren't worth anything...I could go on and on. Sometimes it's as simple as repeatedly pointing out someone's physical faults and how ugly they are in comparison. All of this done in huge amounts to people of all ages, by people of all ages. It has to stop.

We have to stop acting like this is okay. There's no excuse for this kind of rudeness and cruelty to be happening. We all get defensive and angry when it happens to us or our loved ones, but then in the same day can turn around and do the same thing to someone else! It's not okay at all - it's not defensible in any situation. Making any exceptions for this behavior makes exceptions for all of it!

It doesn't matter if the topic is a 'sensitive topic' like politics, religion, or social policy - there is no reason to make a discussion an exercise in verbal abuse. No one deserves to be told these things - and we should all be ashamed of ourselves for saying them. If you can't keep a discussion respectful then you should not engage in them.

And we need to stop this practice of assuming that everything needs to be a debate if it's in a public forum. We defend that our Facebook's and social media accounts should be free from judgement by employers and outsiders, but then insist that everyone should only post their opinions on their own accounts only if they're ready for those who disagree to start an argument? Why? Why does everyone have to engage in informing others that they're opinion is somehow wrong? Maybe this is why our Congress is having so much trouble working together - because we as a country can't do it either.

We need to recognize what we're really saying to people. We need to remember how to respectfully disagree, and recognize that we don't need to make everything a crusade to share an opposing opinion just because you can. Keep your opinions on your own accounts, or discuss them in the proper way without making things personal or abusive.

This is not what our parents raised us to do... at least not mine, or most of the parents I've known in my life. And none of us are innocent.