Originally posted to my personal blog:
Rockets, Swords, & Shields on December 13, 2011
Last week, I mentioned – for probably the
millionth time – how inspiring I find my best friend’s mother, Teresa. I
realized that I haven’t really ever fully given credit to those who are
my examples to follow. First, there’s the aforementioned Teresa Corbin,
mother to Shaina and Matt, wife to BC, a very close friend of mine,
Miki – who is one of the most amazing women of my generation, bar none,
and my own mother, for obvious reasons. They’re amazing beautiful women,
all. And – in the spirit of Christmas, I write my thanks to them here,
and explain how they have inspired me and what lessons I have learned
from them.
I’m going to write in reverse order from
the list above, so to start with – my mother, the woman who was my first
example for this job. My Mom has been through a lot, and goodness knows
we definitely haven’t given her an easy road in parenting. Myself
specifically through her and my dad for some very large loops about 10
years ago (wow! It’s really been that long?!). However, she has never
stopped giving. Never stopped trying to set a good example for us, and
she’s never – not once – ceased to put every single ounce of herself
into being a mother to myself and my 5 sisters. Even now, the two
youngest still just on their way into high school, she works hard to
make sure they know how to function as young girls with values and
respect for themselves. My mother taught me self-reliance. My mother
taught me independence, and she taught me that family is more important
than anything. She taught me that it’s truly better to give than to
receive, and that if it is at all possible to help someone in need then
it’s your job to do it. She showed me that sacrifice is how we learn to
appreciate our lives and family, and that helping others is never out of
the realm of possibility. Being a servant is the best thing you could
ever be. My mom showed me the dedication and work that goes into being a
stay-at-home mom. She also instilled in me the confidence to know that I
can choose to be a working mom or a stay-at-home mom and succeed either
way as a wonderful parent. Neither are easy, but both will fill your
heart.
Miki is a girl I met while working at the
bookstore back home. She is a single mom who, since I met her, has
received a BA as well as a Master’s and started her career working as a
Librarian for Alachua County – all the while raising one of the most
perfect children I’ve ever had the great privilege of knowing. Riley is
single handedly one of the most creative, independent, and intelligent
girls I will ever know – and she has been such since I’ve known her when
she was 2 years old. Miki has shown me patience like I’ve never known.
She’s taught me how to embrace your child’s creativity, how to allow
them individualism, without finding a spoiled brat at the end of the day
hearing yes to everything. Riley knows the word ‘no’. She understands
it and respects it. Miki treats Riley with respect, and gets it in
return. She explains things to her rather than using platitudes.
Conversations instead of orders. It should also be noted, I’ve never
seen a parent get truer enjoyment from playing with their child than
watching these two together. Miki embraces arts and crafts with her
daughter like there is nothing better in this life to experience (and I
can vouch, personally – there isn’t really). Miki has taught me not only
how to be a parent, but how to be my child’s friend without losing
their respect. She has shown me how to get every ounce of enjoyment from
a child’s beauty and personality and how to know the person you’re
raising without hovering.
Lastly, Teresa is the mother of my best
friend of almost 14 years. I have had the privilege to know her children
deeply and by extension her parenting as a basically adopted third
child. Teresa trusts her children and has shown more fierce loyalty to
them than I’ve ever seen in my life. She allows them to be adults (and
has since we were young teens) within reason but always has held a
presence in their life so that they have reciprocated and shared their
lives with her when most kids prevalently pull away from their parents.
I’ve watched both her daughter and her son rely on her and receive
unfailing care. She is never too quick to criticize, though certainly
has never shielded them from what they needed to hear. She encourages
sports, literacy and art, exudes confidence and comfort, and works a
full-time job to boot! Teresa has always been involved with her kids’
lives without having to pry. She knows them like the back of her hand
and they know she’s always there for them beyond any doubt – let alone
the confidence we have that she’s just as willing to be there for those
of us who have become adopted members of the family. Teresa is as much a
mother to me as my own, and in some ways has always held a spot in my
heart just as big and important. She was there for me through some of
the hardest moments of my life, and also more than ecstatically present
for some of the happiest moments. She is so a part of my life, that in
the same way that I regard her daughter as my son’s Aunt as truly as my
own sisters – she is another of his Grandmothers. She always has made it
clear that her house was open to me when I needed it – or simply when I
wanted to come hang at Casa Corbin – and there have been ungodly
amounts of times where she cooked me meals to fill my hungry tummy. One
of the best moments of my early pregnancy last year (of which there were
few, honestly) was going to spend time cuddling and watching movies
with Shaina, and Teresa knowing how bad my morning sickness had been –
made sure I had what I needed, but as soon as I mentioned I was hungry,
happily set to cooking a full dinner for me to eat. Shaina and I have
for a long time described each other as our female soulmate’s – and when
I think of the saying ‘marry a girl and you marry her family,’ I
realize how happy I am to know I have married the Corbin family and have
this woman as my mother – real or not – for the rest of my life.
These women – and many others, trust me –
have taught me, shaped me, and inspired me. I know that they have only
made me better and I will be forever in awe of their abilities.
Merry Christmas, dear Void – thank you for
the year you have given me, good and bad, the things I have learned are
invaluable and I will always be grateful for it.
