Day 4: Write a short message of thanks for some of the “negative” things in your life.
Well, this shouldn’t be too complicated for
me to do. While I’m currently working to avoid thinking about things
negatively, I certainly don’t need to be asked twice to write off what
those things are. The biggest being the whole unemployment scenario –
which, I know, is probably a bit of a broken record topic at this point
but none the less, I’m told to write about negative things in my life
and that’s the main thing these days.
The reasons for why I consider unemployment
are negative, are obvious, and well versed on this blog already.
However, the reasons for why it is positive haven’t really been
discussed to my knowledge, so here I will say that I am thankful for not
having to work right now because of the following:
First and foremost, I am getting to enjoy a
gift that most women I know are not able to take part in, and that is
being a stay at home mom. Sure it may be temporary, but if there was any
time I could choose to be at home for Owen’s life – this would be it.
Every day, it seems, there is something new happening or a big change
coming – he is constantly learning and growing in new ways that I feel
completely privileged to be able to witness. I know that this is time I
will never get back and that I will forever cherish being home with him
so there is a silver lining to this cloud.
Secondly, not having to work right now is
allowing me to get some plans and research done for things that had
always been far off dreams. Giving me the chance to figure out how – and
when – to make them a reality, which may not have been possible if I
had to juggle working 40-50 hours a week along with being a mom to an
infant. The brain power just wouldn’t be present at the end of the day
to think about how to open a bookstore eventually, the cost, business
plan, and etcetera. Or actually realizing that I should do more than
just toss around vague general statements of how I should or will “one
day” write a book – and now, instead of not knowing what I would ever
write about (should I finally have the inclination), I have realized two
books that are in me to write, if not more. I have taken note of my
heroes and what they have taught me, I have pondered things that need to
be fixed in our society – and ways that I could start working to help
bring a solution about.
Lastly, I have gotten the time to really
know myself. My identity is not a mystery, nor a monster in the shadows.
I know the good and the bad about myself, and am okay with it. Rather
than plowing into a career mindlessly with the expectation that one day I
will know who I am and be happy/successful/blah, blah, blah – I know
who I am now, I am happy now, I am successful now.
Albeit in a different way than was originally planned – but perhaps
that was the problem: believing that I wasn’t successful in life until I
had achieved career and educations goals “a,” “b,” and “c.” My life
over the last few years has not gone according to plan, but it’s worked
out better in some ways than I could have planned it to, and maybe I
should be taking that to heart and truly realizing how little “success”
really means to a happy life.
Day
5: Take five minutes to write about how grateful you are for all of the
wonderful things that you currently have in your life. Don’t long for
what you don’t possess – instead, take stock of all the blessings you
already enjoy.
Okay, it is 11:44pm, and I am now beginning
my five minutes. The wonderful things I currently have in my life –
list, and then expansion: Corey, Owen, Cleveland, Brittany, “projects”,
our home.
Corey and Owen are givens really – but
then, I think my entire list, is pretty self-explanatory. They mean the
world to me and quite literally complete my life. What I don’t have or
do is never as big a deal when I am taking into consideration what they
both mean to me. Cleveland is far away yes, but it is a new adventure
with Corey, and it is beautiful. The weather is perfectly amazing every
day – even when it’s raining, it’s gorgeous. I’ve gotten to experience
so much and learn about an entirely new part of the country that I had
never seen before moving here – and there is still SO much! Brittany –
another piece of my life’s puzzle that I 100% could not survive without.
We don’t talk every day but it’s enough to keep close and just enough
to make me miss her. She is the other half of my soul, and when I talk
to her – even through texts – I feel more like myself, and more alive.
The “projects” I’ve already written about on here are such a blessing; I
love doing Susie Homemaker things and it makes me so happy to be doing
stuff for Corey and I to enjoy as a family and not just in my own home,
and I am truly excited about the possibilities awaiting me from all the
things I have coming. Our home, it may not have been perfect at all
times in the last year, but it is Corey and I’s first place together,
where I spent the bulk of my pregnancy, cooked my first Thanksgiving –
and Christmas – meals, and brought Owen home to spend the beginning of
his life. For that, I will always love this apartment and forever have a
strong sentimentality attached to it.
And that is 8 minutes of writing, folks. : )
Be back in a day or two with the next assignments. Hoping all is going
well, and that a pleasant week is reaching everyone. Goodnight, Void.
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